Pregnancy Weekly Guest Writer- Samantha

Worry? Worry? Me? Worry was not a part of my vocabulary until I was 6 weeks pregnant. I had just had a conversation with one of my co-workers about the joys of being pregnant. The frequent urination and morning sickness just to name a few. I stopped in the bathroom on my way back to my desk take part in one of the many joys (Frequent urination) and there it was. The word all pregnant women dread. Spotting. My entire world changed from that moment on. I got back to my desk and reached for my phone. I could barely dial the number as I sat there shuddering. I told the nurse what I had seen. "It was brown,” I said over and over again. She said I needed a blood test so that they could check my hormone levels to see if the pregnancy was viable. It sounded so cold. So I rushed down to the lab with my husband to take the test. Tears were flowing. I just knew it was going to be bad. As I felt the prick of the needle in my arm, I could feel the pit in my stomach get deeper and deeper. I had to wait 48 hours to see if my hormone levels had doubled. How was I going to function for the next 48 hours? So I did what a rational person in my situation would do. I called in sick and sat in my bed trying to hold on to the little life in my belly. No one could take away the uncertainty I felt. No hugs or kisses from my wonderful husband. No word of encouragement from my friends. How could anybody understand how I felt? I was scared about what was going to happen if I was miscarrying. When would it happen? Would it hurt? I felt alone. I just wanted the phone to ring. After an eternity it did finally ring. It was my results. My hormone levels had doubled! Yes! The little life in my belly was still growing. "Just take it easy for the next couple weeks", the nurse said. "You can count on it", I told her. And I did just that and today I am happy to say that I am now 6 months pregnant with a healthy and ACTIVE little girl we plan on naming Emily. Now I’m not saying all the worry is gone. It is still very much there. Just not as sharp as it was those first few weeks but I truly believe that all the anxiety I felt for those first painful weeks made me a stronger person. Worry can be an obstacle that keeps you from seeing the little light and the end of the tunnel. Or in my case the “little life” at the end of the tunnel. pregnancy baby pregnant guest writer pregnancy weekly expecting parenting fertilitychildbirth family