Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I'm 26 and have never wanted children. Last year, however, two lines appeared on a pregnancy test, and 41 weeks later a girl was born. I begged my husband throughout the pregnancy to sign adoption papers with me. He refused. He is in the military and was gone through most of the last seven months. We now live thousands of miles from my family, and I am miserable, stuck with a colicky baby who still doesn't sleep through the night.
I find no joy, no pleasure and no love being a mother. I can't sleep knowing I must wake up to a crying baby and the same routine of feeding, diapers, baths and bottles. I have become more and more detached from the girl and have nothing to enjoy. Showers are short. Dinners are rushed and usually cold. I can't even enjoy a cup of coffee. I can barely hide my revulsion when I have to pick her up.
I am exhausted beyond belief, and my thoughts are turning darker every day. It's not the girl's fault she was born, but I can't help feeling resentment and anger toward her. We can't afford day care, and we have no friends or relatives close by. These long stretches of crying have my nerves shot and my hands itching to shake her until she shuts up. (I have never shaken her.)
What's wrong with me? Why can't I love my child? Should I put her in foster care? My husband can't stand her, either, but he's adamant that we keep her. Yet I'm suffering, and so is she. She deserves a mother who loves her.
GOING CRAZY in San Diego
Dear Going Crazy:
It is not a crime not to feel maternal — not everyone is. In a case like yours, adoption might have been the better option. I wish you had included your name, address or a phone number so I could have contacted you directly. Because you didn't, I can only recommend that before another day goes by, you contact the doctor who delivered your daughter, or her pediatrician, and repeat what you have told me. You may be suffering from postpartum depression, a hormonal condition that is treatable, and you may need a respite from motherhood.
Once your chemistry is balanced again, consider making a trip to visit your family for a few weeks. If you leave the baby with your husband, and he must assume responsibility for her care, he may begin to see the wisdom of placing her with a family that wants her and is willing to accept the responsibility that goes along with having a baby.
Please don't wait.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says the benefits of circumcision are not significant enough to recommend circumcision as a routine procedure and that circumcision is not medically necessary. The American Academy of Family Physicians believes parents should discuss with their son's doctor the potential benefits and the risks involved when making their decision.
A recent AAP report stated that circumcision does offer some benefit in preventing urinary tract infections in infants. Circumcision also offers some benefit in preventing penile cancer in adult men. However, this disease is very rare in all men, whether or not they have been circumcised. Circumcision may reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. A man's sexual practices (e.g., if he uses condoms, if he has more than one partner, etc.) has more to do with STD prevention than whether or not he is circumcised."
I feel that it is important to keep my baby the way he is and not "fix" anything. Where do you stand? Will you put your little one under the knife to help reduce health risks later in his future? Or will you leave it and let it be?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ For more information check out PregnancyWeekly, and for steps on how to care for you baby's penis if circumcised or not please check out familydoctor.org.
Monday, August 21, 2006
The Five S's
The method became the talk of parenting circles in 2002, when California pediatrician Harvey Karp released his book "The Happiest Baby on the Block."
It involves five techniques, or "the Five S's," which Karp learned by watching parents in primitive cultures: swaddling, side- or stomach-lying, shushing, swinging and sucking. Done properly, these induce what Karp calls the "calming reflex."
Here's a brief explanation of the technique:
1. Swaddling -- Wrap the baby very tightly, like a little burrito, using a large square blanket. This prevents her from hitting herself in the face and waking up or getting upset.
2. Side- or stomach-lying -- Babies generally are more calm and comfortable on their sides, Karp says. After swaddling, shift the baby to her side or slightly toward her stomach, with her face looking away from you.
3. Shushing -- Shush loudly into the baby's ear. This simulates in-utero sounds, which Karp says are about the volume of a vacuum cleaner.
4. Swinging -- Holding the baby's head in the palm of your hand, gently swing or jiggle your arm from side to side until her head wobbles like Jell-O. This simulates the motion babies feel in the womb. (It should not be confused with severe back-and-forth movements, which can cause shaken baby syndrome.)
5. Sucking -- Offer the breast, bottle, pacifier or even your finger. Sucking is one of a baby's primary needs.Source: Kansas